Wednesday, February 17, 2016

True North

For years, I've struggled with trying to find who I am and what I want to be when I grow up... mind you, I'm 34.  My children are 13 and 7, and my girls, are literally my life.  They are the reason I work, the reason I wake up... I'm a mom.  As they grew and are in school for the full days, I realized my days had a few hours for "me" for a solid portion of the day!  I started going to more yoga classes, reading and sitting quietly.  I realized that I'd lost myself throughout the years, and I wanted to find my purpose again.  As I try to find a balance between being an independent adult and being "just a mom", I realized that intertwining the two was difficult, but possible.  I wanted to be home for my family, but I also needed to work.  Enter yoga.  

As a practitioner for years, I wanted to practice with my girls, but noticed there was a lack of classes for children.  I decided to pursue a kids yoga training.  Once completed, I was excited, but found that many studios that I reached out to, were reluctant to hire someone that had not gone through the standard 200hr training.  Eventually I jumped into the 200 hours training, and man, did it change my life!  Something in my heart changed during that 6 month training.  I made friends and connected to their hearts, in ways I didn't know ere possible.  I looked at myself and accepted my flaws.  I also found the importance of meditation.  Sitting quietly, letting my mind go.  All of the problems spinning in my hamster wheel, gone, if even for a few minutes.  It was at the end of my YTT, that I knew I was a different person.  

As hard as it was, I began to slowly let go of anything (and anyone) that didn't hold significance in my heart or life.  I wanted more for myself, and my family.  As I began teaching, slowly making connections with my students, the gratification was exactly what my heart needed.  I was helping others, they were vocalizing what they needed and we were in tune!  Then the holidays rolled around, stressors popped up and the anxiety began to sink in.  While I had been using lavender and tea tree for years, a friend of mine introduced me to a world of alternative options for essential oils.  After months, I finally began truly using essential oils in my home.  Natural options vs our heavily supplied medicine cabinet.  That, in itself, is a million more posts, for a different day.  But I felt good about myself.  I felt good saving money on natural cleaning products, by making my own.  My daughter had less anxiety with natural stress relievers.  I diffuse oils in my yoga classes and have positive feedback on their moods when the hour is up.  I diffuse different blends during the day, before bed and in the car, and my family is emotionally supported, and it feels fantastic!  

One of the hardest things I've done, was leave my cushy corporate jobs, to be home full time.  Being the support system for my family is engrained in my me, its who I am.  How I do it, is a different story.  This is where I am in 2016, I've found the path to my True North.  This is my journey.  Thank you for following along.

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