Thursday, February 25, 2016

Birthday Happiness

Santa Cruz Boardwalk - Dont ever grow up!
Slowly climbing through my 30's is a big deal.  It means that I'm not a 20-something kid.  I should be a responsible adult.  I should have my life together.  Gone are the days of staying out all night, partying til the wee hours of the morning, with a drink in hand.  Not that there's a single thing wrong with a drink in hand, but I prefer to be on my couch, with a beer (or 3), watching a Warriors game; then in bed at a decent hour.  I'll be honest & say that we did party hard for my 30th birthday, but 4 years later, I certainly have no intention of reliving that night.  

For my 34th, I opted for a low key birthday instead.  We took the kids to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, and enjoyed the sunshine.  We rode rides, ate cotton candy & walked the famed bridge from the movie "The Lost Boys".  If that statement doesn't age me, I don't know what will!  The sun was shining, my girls were happy & it meant the world to me.

Sutro Baths Labyrinth 
The next day, we took a family hike through the San Francisco Sutro Baths.  It's a family friendly walk and the weather cooperated perfectly.  The waves were fierce on the Pacific, and we were fairly close to being knocked into the water by a huge wave.  We were trying to get a good family picture in (and a awesome yoga pose for me!) when we ended up completely soaked.  Luckily it was early on, and we dried off fairly quick.  Round trip, it was about 4 miles.  Pretty good for my 7 year old!

Golden Gate View from Eagles Point
Lost Boys Bridge - Santa Cruz, CA

Wednesday, February 17, 2016


Fear is an inherent human trait.  Fear of the unknown.  Fear of failure.  Fear of letting others down.  It's a scary world!  As a parent, I'm terrified that I'll make mistakes & my girls will end up in endless therapy one day.  I fear that I'm not enough.  I worry that I will disappoint the people I love.  I'm afraid to take chances in business opportunities, fearing my failure.  I wonder if I'm pretty enough to keep my loves attention, fearing that one day my beauty will fade.  I wonder if the world is judging me. Again, it's a fricken scary world!!

Astavakrasana - 8 Angle Pose
There's no turning back.  Every day passes & if we are not moving forward, are we truly living?  As a parent, it's my job to guide my girls on the path to independence.  To provide opportunities for growth.  To give them the confidence to try
 Whether they succeed or fail, is not the point.  One of my favorite things to tell my teenager, is "don't be afraid of LIFE".  The worst that can happen is hearing NO.  You can't succeed, if you don't try.  Failure is a stepping stone.  Failure is a lesson; humbling.  A mile is a mile, no matter how fast.  

Now, if only I could listen to my own advice.  Well, here I am.  Putting myself out there, again.  Striving for my own greatness, to show my family what I expect from them.  "Do as I say, not as I do" is not something I want in my vocabulary any longer.  I want to show my girls that they are strong.  But why would they believe me, unless I showed them my own strength?  

So here I am.  Being true to myself.  Allowing my inner light shine. 

True North

For years, I've struggled with trying to find who I am and what I want to be when I grow up... mind you, I'm 34.  My children are 13 and 7, and my girls, are literally my life.  They are the reason I work, the reason I wake up... I'm a mom.  As they grew and are in school for the full days, I realized my days had a few hours for "me" for a solid portion of the day!  I started going to more yoga classes, reading and sitting quietly.  I realized that I'd lost myself throughout the years, and I wanted to find my purpose again.  As I try to find a balance between being an independent adult and being "just a mom", I realized that intertwining the two was difficult, but possible.  I wanted to be home for my family, but I also needed to work.  Enter yoga.  

As a practitioner for years, I wanted to practice with my girls, but noticed there was a lack of classes for children.  I decided to pursue a kids yoga training.  Once completed, I was excited, but found that many studios that I reached out to, were reluctant to hire someone that had not gone through the standard 200hr training.  Eventually I jumped into the 200 hours training, and man, did it change my life!  Something in my heart changed during that 6 month training.  I made friends and connected to their hearts, in ways I didn't know ere possible.  I looked at myself and accepted my flaws.  I also found the importance of meditation.  Sitting quietly, letting my mind go.  All of the problems spinning in my hamster wheel, gone, if even for a few minutes.  It was at the end of my YTT, that I knew I was a different person.  

As hard as it was, I began to slowly let go of anything (and anyone) that didn't hold significance in my heart or life.  I wanted more for myself, and my family.  As I began teaching, slowly making connections with my students, the gratification was exactly what my heart needed.  I was helping others, they were vocalizing what they needed and we were in tune!  Then the holidays rolled around, stressors popped up and the anxiety began to sink in.  While I had been using lavender and tea tree for years, a friend of mine introduced me to a world of alternative options for essential oils.  After months, I finally began truly using essential oils in my home.  Natural options vs our heavily supplied medicine cabinet.  That, in itself, is a million more posts, for a different day.  But I felt good about myself.  I felt good saving money on natural cleaning products, by making my own.  My daughter had less anxiety with natural stress relievers.  I diffuse oils in my yoga classes and have positive feedback on their moods when the hour is up.  I diffuse different blends during the day, before bed and in the car, and my family is emotionally supported, and it feels fantastic!  

One of the hardest things I've done, was leave my cushy corporate jobs, to be home full time.  Being the support system for my family is engrained in my me, its who I am.  How I do it, is a different story.  This is where I am in 2016, I've found the path to my True North.  This is my journey.  Thank you for following along.